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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Steelers Envy

Apparently, I wasn’t the only Eagles fan having Steelers envy on Sunday evening. In fact, I’ve heard enough people talking about it that I’m beginning to wonder if it’s an epidemic in the area.

Two days after the team across the state sealed yet another trip to the Super Bowl, the thought of jumping ship isn’t fading. I’m trying to come up with legitimate grounds to dawn the black and gold.

I mean, c’mon – they’re going for their seventh Super Bowl win. Not just seven appearances. The franchise is looking for their seventh championship ring.

Yeah, I know. Andy Reid has one . . . as a quarterbacks coach. Which by the way is the last job he held before he became our, I mean, their head coach. This could take some adjusting.

S@#!t! Mother f#$%!

I just can’t take it anymore.

The Steelers just do it the right way. They run the ball. They smack you in the mouth on defense. They go from Bill Cowher who wore his heart on his sleeve and looked like he was dying to still be playing, to Mike Tomlin who has the same type of grit fans in Philadelphia would love to see from their football coach.

Instead we have Andy Reid clearing his throat and snapping the cap of his highlighter closed, and giving the same BS answers at press conferences for over a decade.

Sure, we had Buddy Ryan for a while, but it’s time for Philadelphia to stop idolizing a head coach who never won a playoff game. We even had Ray Rhodes, who certainly held nothing back at press conferences and gave what might have become a legendary speech to his team the night before a Dallas game. The analogy of the Cowboys coming into our house and sodomizing the women no doubt made Jeff Lurie sick to his politically correct little tummy, but it revved up the team. And, then of course he kept going back to it, the speech lost its effectiveness, and Rhodes didn’t have a Plan B.

Dan Rooney, the owner of the Steelers, basically told the league to stick their 18-game schedule, breaking ranks with the owners as they gear up for a lockout because he wants to see football played next season.

Lurie gives his meaningless state of the Eagles address every training camp, thinks they are the gold standard because, well, he says so, and celebrates the Linc going green.

At least the next Phillies parade will be eco-friendly traipsing through Lurie’s stadium.

Remember those oh, so heady days of Reid showing emotion, yelling, “Gimme some good questions!” after the Eagles stunned the Giants with an amazing comeback?

Sure you do. It was the last win of the frikkin’ season!

I’m done. I’ve had it!

The lockout can be my ace in the hole. They’re taking my football away? All bets are off? Might miss a whole season?

Fine. That’s the time we long suffering Eagles jump ship. When the NFL returns, I think all fans should have the right to re-align their allegiance. A one-time, get out of Super Bowl Barren Hell Free Card.

Besides, the Steelers are in my home state. The Eagles and the Steelers even formed one team, the Steagles, for a brief period. Why should I be punished with the bad half my whole life? I’m less than a year from 40 – forty! – and my team’s never won a damn Super Bowl!

It’s 2011 – I got the RedZone. I can read the Pittsburgh papers. I can even change my favorite team on my SI subscription and espn.com. Talk to me Steelers fans! What’s the initiation into Steelers fandom? I won’t even talk about previous Super Bowls as “ours.” Not even this year’s trip.

Gimme a pierogy.

Gimme a Primanti Bros. Sandwich.

Gimme the Black and Gold!

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